


Saving You

by dearyooh



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Family Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 18:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 17,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24750376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dearyooh/pseuds/dearyooh
Summary: Minji and Gahyeon find their lives in danger after a fun night for the girls quickly takes a turn. Yoohyeon saves them, but at what cost?A Yoohyeon-centric exploration of her relationship with the girls. Not written towards a specific pairing, but can be interpreted to ship whoever you pair her with.
Relationships: Han Dong | Handong/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Bora | SuA/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon, Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Gahyeon, Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Siyeon, Kim Yoohyeon/Lee Yoobin | Dami
Comments: 48
Kudos: 109
Collections: Dreamcatcher fanfics





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> There is not really a major depiction of violence, but please be warned that Yoohyeon does get injured in this story.

Yoohyeon smiled happily as she looked around. The girls had just finished a hard day’s worth of dance practice, and they were finally able to unwind. All of the members had gathered at Siyeon’s apartment and were just having fun and laughing. Little moments like these with her favorite people were easily the best part of her day. Minji, Bora, and Handong were all singing karaoke while Yubin and Siyeon danced wildly. 

Yoohyeon was sitting on the couch with Gahyeon, keeping her company. Earlier in the day, the youngest had injured her ankle and was trying to take it easy. She was still able to walk somewhat well, but needed one of the girls to help hold some of the weight. When they went and saw a doctor, he told the girls she would be fine with rest. Nobody let it put a damper on the celebratory mood in the air though, not even Gahyeon herself. 

Their comeback was coming soon, and they were all so thrilled to see Insomnias again. There was no greater feeling for any of them than being on the stage with each other, looking out at the crowd, and seeing their fans. Just the thought of being back out there again made them giddy with excitement. 

The night wore on and the girls partied until four in the morning, when they finally decided to turn in. Bora and Handong elected to stay at Siyeon’s apartment and sleep over. Yubin headed off on her own for the short walk back to her own apartment. 

Gahyeon was getting ready to head out, and Minji volunteered to walk her home. They all exchanged goodbyes for the night. As Yoohyeon was leaving, something caught her eye. 

It was Gahyeon’s house key. In their haste to get home, Gahyeon and Minji had left it behind. Yoohyeon scooped it up and figured she could catch up with them before heading back to her apartment, so that the two wouldn’t have to come all the way back again for the key. Especially with Gahyeon’s injured foot, she didn’t want to make them work any harder than was necessary. 

She set off at a slight jog and smiled when she finally caught sight of them about to cross the street at an intersection. The streets were bare at this time, but Minji was still careful not to cross without being sure it was completely safe. She didn’t want to take any risks either with Gahyeon’s safety on the line. Yoohyeon sped up to catch up with them and called out, but they didn’t hear. 

On the street, Gahyeon misstepped and her leg gave out on her. Minji stopped to catch her and make sure she was okay.

Yoohyeon figured that since she was there, she would be able to help. She finally got to the crosswalk and made her way onto the street so she could help Minji take some of the weight off Gahyeon’s leg. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a red flash as a car raced towards the two unsuspecting girls. She could tell the driver was clearly drunk and had no intentions of stopping. Fear filled her at the thought of that car hitting her members. Minji was her best friend and Yoohyeon couldn’t bare the thought of losing her. Gahyeon was like her little sister; she always tried to protect her to the best of her abilities. No one could hurt her on Yoohyeon’s watch. 

Seeing the car closing in quickly, she sprang into action. Yoohyeon sprinted out onto the street and threw her full weight into the two girls. They were knocked to the side and fell hard. When the eldest and youngest looked up to see what had hit them, it was as if time had slowed down. There they saw Yoohyeon, standing where they had just been, and watched as an incoming car slammed into her instead. 

Minji screamed and immediately ran over to their fallen friend. Her heart broke as she cradled the younger girl’s body, begging her to open her eyes. Out of all the girls, Minji had always felt the easiest connection with her. They cared about each other so much, and knowing what Yoohyeon had just sacrificed for her made the guilt feel so much heavier. 

The eldest was only vaguely aware of the things going on around her. All she could focus on was the younger girl’s face. She barely registered Gahyeon frantically calling for an ambulance, and didn’t even notice when the driver sped off in another direction. Minji instead focused on trying to find a pulse. Much to her relief, there was one. But it was extremely faint and fading by the second. She had no idea how else to help and hugged the younger girl’s broken body close to her chest, crying into her hair. As much as she wanted to stay strong, seeing Yoohyeon like this made it impossible.

After calling for the ambulance, Gahyeon tried to stand and hurry over to the other girls. All she could see was her leader crying over Yoohyeon’s body, and feared what that could mean. Her heart dropped at the thought of never seeing Yooh smile again. Hearing her laugh for the last time. Seeing Pie wag her tail expecting Yoohyeon to come in, only to find that she had seen her mistress for the last time without even realizing it. 

But when Yoohyeon had shoved them aside and took the hit for them, Gahyeon’s already compromised foot took the full brunt of the fall. Her leg collapsed under the pressure and now she couldn’t stand. She was sure her leg was broken. There was a dull throb but she could barely even focus on the pain. All she could think about was the girl she had come to love so deeply, and how she had risked everything to save her life. Unable to stand or help, Gahyeon called the other members in a daze. As soon as Yubin heard, she told Gahyeon she’d meet them at the hospital and ran to get dressed. The rest of the girls were all in one apartment so she called Siyeon and told her what happened. 

There was a cry of distress from the other end, but Gahyeon didn’t know who it was from. She didn’t really care either. She just prayed the ambulance would arrive soon. 

Minji continued to hold Yoohyeon’s limp body in her arms as she tried to wake her up. Memories flooded her as a similar scene popped into her mind.

_“Come on, Yoohyeon. Wake up. We’re going to be late.” By now, Minji had been shaking the younger girl for a good two minutes and she refused to get out of bed. It was three in the morning and she really couldn’t blame her for not wanting to wake up, but they had a schedule to attend._

__

_Back then they were still in their dorms and Bora, her roommate at the time, had already left to start getting ready. Minji’s face softened as she saw Yoohyeon laying there. The younger girl’s face was screwed up tight, and Minji noted that Yooh looked far younger when she was sleeping._

__

_She was snapped out of it once she realized the sleep was not peaceful. The reason Yoohyeon wasn’t waking up was because she was trapped in a nightmare. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on Minji, but worry filled her before she could think about it too much. Yoohyeon cried out in her fitful sleep, and that was it for Minji._

__

_The older girl climbed into the bed and shook her even harder. She knew she wasn’t supposed to wake people when they were in situations like these, but she couldn’t stand there and watch Yoohyeon suffer. Finally, the younger girl shot up in bed, shaking. Her eyes were filling with tears and her hands were drenched in a cold sweat. Upon seeing Minji’s concerned gaze, Yoohyeon broke down and threw her arms around her._

__

_Minji was taken aback by everything that was happening, but wrapped her arms around the shaking girl and held tight. “Hey, everything is okay. It was just a dream.” She tried to calm Yoohyeon and rubbed soft circles into her back._

__

_Yoohyeon couldn’t be calmed though. Through her hysterics, she kept repeating, “I couldn’t save you. I was right there and I couldn’t save you.” Minji just held her close and whispered softly._

__

_“I’m right here, Yooh. We’re in the dorm. It’s okay.” When the younger girl had finally calmed down, she refused to tell Minji what the dream was about. She didn’t press the matter either. If Yoohyeon didn’t want to talk about it, she didn’t want to force her to relive whatever had happened in her nightmare._

__


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Italicized scenes are memories from the past, while normal text is the present storyline. Hope you all are enjoying the story so far :)

_Not even three weeks after the nightmare incident, the girls were out celebrating. Their album had just come out the day prior, and music show promotions would be starting within the next couple days. They wanted to enjoy their last couple nights of freedom before they would have to begin waking up at two in the morning for pre-recordings._

_Minji was happy to see all the smiling faces but noticed one was missing. Yoohyeon. Since the incident in the dorm, it was like there was something dark hanging over her. She wasn’t the same vibrant and bright girl that Minji remembered. The younger girl had distanced herself from everyone. Not enough for them to worry or pry, but enough that she wouldn’t have to talk about whatever was going on with her. Whatever she had seen in that nightmare._

_Minji slipped out of the dorm and tried to think of places Yoohyeon would be at this time of night. She spent the next hour looking everywhere. Bars, clubs, parks, anywhere she could think of. When she was about to give up and head back, she thought she would try the company building just in case. Sure enough, she walked in and found the light of their practice room was switched on and there was movement inside._

_It was one in the morning and Yoohyeon was in the practice room. From the looks of it, Minji guessed she had been in there for a while. She was drenched in sweat. The older girl paused outside the door and just watched as Yoohyeon danced. She had always been one of the group’s best dancers. Her movements were so graceful and fluid, and Minji felt almost hypnotized watching. Nobody could execute the choreography in the special way Yoohyeon was able to. Minji did believe that sometimes Yoohyeon’s unique style was her favorite of them all._

_She abruptly snapped out of her trance when midway through the dance, Yoohyeon collapsed to the floor. Without hesitation, she ran in and slid down next to her fallen member. “Yoohyeon, are you okay?”_

_The younger girl just kept panting. She crawled over to the nearby trash can and threw up. Minji watched in horror as she pushed aside the trash can and sat with her back against a wall. The eldest slowly approached and gently sat next to her._

_“Yoohyeon, how long have you been here? Practicing?”_

_“Five hours.”_

_A sharp pain stabbed through Minji’s heart. Earlier in the day, the girls had all practiced as a group for eight hours already. “By yourself?”_

_Yoohyeon dropped her head into her hands. “I didn’t want to hold you guys back. I’ve never been the strongest dancer or singer... I feel like I’m a disappointment. Everyone else is always so good, and I’m letting you guys and our fans down when I hold the group back. Sometimes I wonder if you guys could have had a first win by now if I wasn’t here.”_

_Minji gently lifted Yoohyeon’s chin so they were eye-to-eye. “You could never be a disappointment to us, Yooh. We would be nowhere without you. I would be nowhere without you. You are always so sweet to me, and knowing I have you has already made my life so much better. I wish you would have told me about how you were feeling, so I could tell you that you are already enough without having to overwork yourself like this.”_

_She gestured to the trash can, and her voice shook. “I can’t... I hate seeing you like this. You deserve better, Yooh. It hurts to know you’ve been in here torturing yourself for no reason. We could have helped you.”_

_Minji gently took one of Yoohyeon’s hands and gave it a soft squeeze. “I could have helped you.”_

_“You always take care of everyone else. I didn’t want to be a burden. I just... Losing you has always been my worst fear.”_

_The older girl released Yoohyeon’s hand and instead pulled her into a comforting hug. “I take care of you guys not because I have to, but because I want to. I love you all, of course I want to make sure you’re all happy and healthy. It’s not a burden for me, Yooh. I love you. Do you hear me? You are so special, I love you.”_

_Yoohyeon closed her eyes and melted into the warm and familiar embrace. “I love you too, Minji. My nightmare... I’ve been having the same one every night. For two months. I usually wake up before the bad part, but I know what’s supposed to come. Even back when I was a trainee, I knew not everyone would like us or support us. I read things and I’ve seen things. People threatening to hurt us. I’m sure you’ve seen some of it too.”_

_Minji just nodded quietly. “I try not to pay attention to any of it. The threats are always empty and if I let it bother me, I’d become paranoid.”_

_“My dream is that one of these days, the threats won’t be empty. Someone comes here to hurt me and because you care so much, you protect me and get hurt instead. Every time, I have to watch as you sacrifice everything for me. I can’t... I can’t do anything to stop it or save you.”_

_The older girl’s heart shattered. Because Yoohyeon was right. Minji would give anything to protect her, or any of the girls. If it really came down to it, she would gladly lay down her life to save one of her members. The reality hit close to home for her._

_“You don’t need to worry about that, Yooh. Nothing is going to happen to any of us.”_

_Yoohyeon’s voice came out as a choked whisper. “You can’t say that. You don’t know that for sure.”_

_It reminded Minji of the days when Yoohyeon had first arrived at the company and just been the shy and scared little girl who everyone wanted to protect. Even Yubin, a younger member, always wanted to take care of her. The only person Minji had ever really seen Yoohyeon take a protective role with was Gahyeon._

_“I do know it. Because nothing could ever hurt any of us as long as we have each other. And I’m sure I speak for all of the girls when I say this, but all of us are here for you and care about you. I promise. Nothing bad will happen to me. Or you. We’re all safe and we’re all happy. And we’ll stay that way.”_

_One look at the younger girl told Minji she was not convinced, but she figured Yoohyeon would start to feel better about things as time passed. The eldest could see the exhaustion radiating off her body though, and made a mental note to make sure Yoohyeon wasn’t left practicing alone and overworking herself. The last thing she wanted was for Yoohyeon to collapse in the dead middle of the night and have no one to help her or make sure she’s okay. She didn’t even want to think about the fact that this was probably not the first time it had happened._

_She directed a soft gaze at the younger girl and allowed Yoohyeon’s head to slide down so it was resting on her lap. “You must be tired, Yooh. Get some sleep. We’ll talk more tomorrow, okay?”_

_Yoohyeon just gave her a tired nod and drifted off to sleep on the older girl’s lap. Minji sang a soft lullaby as a tear rolled down her cheek. It hurt her so much to think how many other nights the girls had been sleeping peacefully while Yoohyeon was here, working herself until failure because she thought she was the team’s weak link. She laid a hand on Yoohyeon’s arm and gave it a soft squeeze, and slowly stroked her hair._

_The next morning, Yoohyeon woke in Minji’s lap. Just like they had been the night before. The older girl had fallen asleep too, much to Yoohyeon’s relief. She didn’t want her to stay up because of her._

_She got a pillow and a blanket from the lobby of the company building and returned. Gently, she laid Minji down and slid the pillow underneath her head. The younger girl then unfolded the blanket and carefully covered Minji. She made a promise to herself that while the older girl was caring for everyone else, Yoohyeon would be the one to take care of her. From now on, she vowed to protect Minji._

_She left and quietly flicked the lights off. As she turned around, she had a smile on her face. It was the first night in two months that she slept without having any nightmares._


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter is a little bit shorter. The next will be longer to make up for it :)

Minji was shaken out of the memory by the sound of sirens. Reality came crashing back down on her as the lifeless body of her best friend lay in her arms. Paramedics rushed out of a nearby ambulance and quickly pulled Yoohyeon away from her. The older girl watched, completely numb, as she was loaded onto a stretcher and carried off in the back of an ambulance.

She continued watching, unable to move, as it drove off down the street towards the nearest hospital. A pair of arms wrapped around her and she turned to see Siyeon with unshed tears in her eyes. It was almost like an out of body experience. Surreal, in all the wrong ways.

She allowed Siyeon to help her stand and walk her towards the car that would inevitably take her to the emergency room. Minji suddenly remembered that she was here with someone else and she was rejuvenated for just one second as her eyes tried to find Gahyeon. She couldn’t deal with the possibility that two of her closest friends had been hurt and she wasn’t able to do anything about it.

When Siyeon noticed Minji looking around frantically, she gave her a reassuring squeeze. 

“Bora and Handong got her to the car already. We think her leg is broken. When the paramedics came, she refused to go with them, insisting that all of their resources go to saving Yooh...” Her voice choked up at the end. She took a second to recompose herself.

“Whenever you’re ready, we can get into the car and drive over. Yubin is already there in the waiting room and will let us know if there are any updates so there is no rush. We can stay out here if you need. I can tell Bora to drive Gahyeon there first and wait for her to come back for us.”

Minji glanced to the floor and saw blood. The scene of Yoohyeon getting hit kept replaying in her head as she looked around. She shook her head quietly, tears beginning to stream down her face again. She couldn't stay here. “I’m ready, let’s just go now.” 

She tried to move on her own, but she felt so numb. So weak. Before the older girl could fall and hurt herself, Siyeon grabbed hold of her and helped walk her to the car. The silence was deafening during the whole car ride. 

Nobody spoke a word. There was an occasional whimper of pain from Gahyeon, but even those were few and far between. She too, was distracted by the thought of losing Yoohyeon. None of the girls wanted to voice that thought aloud, but they were all thinking it. The atmosphere was heavy as they all walked inside. Yubin stood up and immediately grew concerned to see Gahyeon leaning so heavily on her members. 

She rushed over and took over for Handong, who looked like she needed a little break from practically carrying the youngest girl. Siyeon did the same for Bora, and the three headed off to get Gahyeon’s leg checked out. Bora and Handong were left with a devastated Minji and they all silently took their seats in the waiting room.

Still, nobody said a word.


	4. Chapter Four

_The girls were all sitting in a circle in Yubin’s apartment. They were all telling stories from their trainee days that the other members didn’t know about._

_Bora was just finishing up a story about how she was almost caught sneaking a hamburger into the bathroom by a manager. The members were in between laughing and feeling concern for young Bora. It was a well-known fact that trainees were malnourished and forced to starve so they could look skinny. They nodded along, they all knew what it felt like to be so hungry that a burger in the bathroom sounded appetizing. But they were still caught laughing because, of course, it was Bora who was causing trouble. It was always her._

_Siyeon then told a story about how her parents had once tried to visit and mistook the company CEO for the front desk manager. The girls all gasped in horror, except Yoohyeon, who chose that moment to excuse herself for a drink or water. They didn’t see her again until Siyeon finished her story with her parents having to leave in shame. When Yoohyeon took a seat, Handong looked to her questioningly. “What about you? You’ve got to have some good stories.”_

_She just unenthusiastically shrugged her shoulders. Her hands fidgeted with her pants as she looked to the floor. “Before I met you guys, my trainee days were hard.”_

_Gahyeon scooted in closer. “All of our trainee days were hard. You can tell us anything, we’ll understand.”_

_Yoohyeon just sighed. “It was before Minx. I just had a really lonely time. The only person who really knows about it is CEO Won.”_

_Minji gave her a little smile. “I used to feel really lonely too before we started training together. But I could always call my parents and I’d feel a little better.”_

_“Yoohyeon, I’ve never heard you talk about your parents. Surely you guys still talked when you were a trainee...?” Yubin always paid attention to the little details._

_Yoohyeon just raised her head. “My parents died when I was a trainee.”_

_There was an audible gasp from the rest of the members. How was it possible that none of them knew? They tried to think about what Yoohyeon would do when they went home for holidays. Where she would stay. And now that they really thought about it, they had no idea._

_Minji was the first to speak up. “Yooh... I’m so sorry. I- I had no idea.” The rest of the girls echoed similar sentiments._

_She just shrugged again. “It’s okay now. It was just a hard time back then. My dad got really sick when I was a kid and money was tight because of the medical bills. Me being at home was hurting even more because I was another mouth to feed. Another body to clothe. Kids are expensive, I always knew that. I had a passion for music and dance, and figured becoming a trainee would be the best job I could find that would provide housing and food for me. So I auditioned and I got in. I wanted to take the burden off my parents._

_I was only here for a couple months when I got news my dad passed away. I couldn’t go see him in his last days because the company kept me working, and none of us really knew it was going to be that quick. My mom died soon after because she was so ridden from grief that she neglected to take care of herself. She fell ill and within a few days, I had no home and no family.”_

_The girls all sat silently, unable to reconcile this scared little kid who was homeless and alone with the bright vibrant woman they had come to know. They all tried to imagine how painful losing her parents like that must have been, especially not being able to see them at that age, but none of them could even come close to understanding._

_Yoohyeon tried to put on a smile. “It’s okay, though. CEO Won was really great about all this. He treated me well and as long as I practiced hard, he would buy me anything I needed. Clothes, food, even games sometimes. And then I found you guys. When we started training together as Minx, I found a home with all of you. Everyone took care of me so well, it made me miss my parents less and less. When we became Dreamcatcher and added Gahyeon and Dong, it was even better.”_

_All of them were still just sitting there trying to process everything Yoohyeon had told them. Gahyeon had tears in her eyes hearing about the kind of pain her friend had to go through. She thought about what Yoohyeon did when all the other girls went home. She wondered how the older girl must have felt when she graduated and only her Minx members came to support her. The thought only hurt her more._

_Yoohyeon looked around and saw her story had put a bit of a damper on the mood. She excused herself. “I’m a bit tired, I think I’m just going to go to sleep.” As she left, Bora stood up and followed her out. When they got to Yubin’s guest room, she closed the door behind them._

_“Yooh...”_

_When the younger girl turned around and Bora could see tears in her eyes, she hurried over and wrapped her up in a warm hug._

_“This is why we always felt such an inclination to protect you, huh? We didn’t even realize it, but we were all basically raising you. That’s why it’s so easy for you to fall into that role.”_

_The younger girl nodded, and pulled away. Through tears, she still tried to crack a joke. “I’d say you guys did a pretty good job with me, though. Don’t you think?”_

_Bora just laughed. “I’m glad you think so.”_

_She quickly grew serious. “I know we’re all a little bit crazy, but we all care about you so much. We will always be here for you through everything. Please know you don’t have to keep secrets from us. We can help you through tough times.”_

_Yoohyeon gave her the first genuine smile of the night. “I know. You guys really do take care of me, but I guess I need it. I’ll come to you guys if there’s anything troubling me.”_

_Bora only hoped this would be the truth. But she knew how much Yoohyeon tried to hide her pain. She was already the baby of the group, aside from Gahyeon, and she hated feeling like she was asking for too much or worrying the other members. Bora was sure there were still things Yoohyeon would try to hide from them, because she didn’t want them to feel bad for her or worry about her._

_The younger girl crawled into bed and Bora sat on the edge, softly putting her hand on Yoohyeon’s leg. “I think I’m going to sleep in here with you, if that’s alright?”_

_Yoohyeon just smiled. “I’d like that.”_

_Instead of settling down in a sleeping bag or on the floor like Yoohyeon was expecting, Bora just climbed into the bed next to her. She was going to make a joke about it, but then felt Bora wrap her arms around her. In that moment, she felt so secure and safe._

_She closed her eyes, but wasn’t quite yet asleep when she heard the door open._

_Siyeon walked in and saw the two with their eyes closed and assumed they were asleep. There was no room on the bed, so Siyeon just shrugged and started making a makeshift bed on the floor with blankets and pillows. Before she laid down, she discreetly kissed the young girl on the forehead. “Love you, Yoohyeon. Good night.”_

_Handong was next to enter and laughed softly when she saw some of the other members already had the same idea as her. None of them wanted Yoohyeon to sleep alone. She too thought the younger girl was sleeping so she wordlessly grabbed her hand and gave it a comforting squeeze before she settled in next to Siyeon for the night._

_Minji and Gahyeon entered in together, and found a very crowded guest room. As Gahyeon set up another makeshift bed on the floor, Minji gently laid a hand on the younger girl’s shoulder. “You’ll always have a family with me.” Gahyeon walked over as well and whispered quietly._

_“Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling. And I feel it when I’m with you. I know you won’t hear this, but I still want to say it. I love you.”_

_Minji and Gahyeon carefully stepped over Siyeon and Handong’s sleeping figures and laid in the blanket bed Gahyeon had built._

_When Yubin finally walked in, she found that her own guest bedroom barely had any room for her. She just groaned. Minji and Gahyeon giggled quietly as they watched Yubin leave, then return two minutes later with a sleeping bag. She glared at them playfully as she set it up on the floor._

_She then carefully stepped over everyone and made her way over to the bedside. “Yoohyeon... I’m sleeping in a stuffy sleeping bag in my own home. On my own floor. Instead of my warm cozy bed one door over. All just for you. I hope you’re happy.” Though her tone was teasing, she carefully tucked a strand of Yoohyeon’s hair behind her ear. Even with her eyes closed, she could feel how genuinely Yubin cared for her._

_With all the kind words, Yoohyeon fell asleep that night with a huge smile on her face. Maybe she didn’t have a family in the traditional sense, but she did have a family. And that’s all that mattered to her. In that moment, it’s all she could have ever asked for. She knew she’d do anything for any one of them._


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter today... Will update a longer one tomorrow :)

The suffocating silence in the waiting room was mercifully broken when a doctor walked into the room. Yoohyeon had been taken in for emergency surgery and had been in the operating room for hours. By this time, Gahyeon had gotten her leg casted and the whole group was assembled together, sitting quietly. 

Even still, nobody had made a sound.

“Family for Kim Yoohyeon?”

Minji shot up out of her seat and practically ran over. “That’s us.”

He looked at the six girls, puzzled. None of them even looked like they could be related to the girl he had been operating on. One of them didn’t even look Korean. “No parents? Siblings? Relatives?”

Gahyeon just shook her head. “We’re all she’s got.”

The doctor sighed. “Well, you should know... It’s really touch and go with her right now. Her heart stopped twice on the operating table but we were able to revive her during surgery. We’ll need to take her in for another surgery after she’s rested a little bit, but honestly, it’s not looking good.”

Minji heard the news that Yoohyeon had technically died twice already and she likely wouldn’t make it, and felt her whole world crashing down. It was supposed to be her on that operating table, fighting for her life, not Yoohyeon. 

Gahyeon felt similar feelings of guilt. It wasn’t her fault that she got injured during practice and Gahyeon knew that, but she couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Minji didn’t have to walk her home that night. Or if she hadn’t stumbled on the street while they were crossing. She felt as if someone had reached into her chest and ripped her heart straight from it.

The doctor knew the news was hard for them to hear, but unfortunately that wasn’t the worst he had to share. 

“She currently has three broken ribs, and two more are fractured. She also suffered from major internal bleeding as a result of the impact from the car. Her right femur is broken, her left knee is dislocated, and one of the rib fragments that broke off punctured her lung. In addition, she has several deep lacerations on various parts of her body, but the most concerning are the ones to her head. We’ve done our best to patch up what we could, but she needs to rest before we continue. I will allow visitation for her two people at a time, but I highly suggest keeping it short. We need to give her body time to recover between surgeries if we want to give her the highest chance.”

Siyeon physically stumbled back as she heard the extent of Yoohyeon’s injuries. Bora tried to steady her, but she also felt her knees going weak. 

Handong’s voice came out as a whisper. “Thank you, Doctor.” He bowed his head and left. 

The only sound that could be heard in the waiting room was the sound of Minji’s sobs. Her heart-wrenching and agonized sobs. 

Maybe the silence was better.


	6. Chapter Six

_Siyeon returned from recording her solo song late at night. It was already eleven and she had been in the studio all day, without any food. She really missed having her members in the studio with her, and was pleasantly surprised when she opened her apartment door and found Yoohyeon waiting for her inside._

_Before she could say anything, the smell of fresh food wafted to her nose. “Yoohyeon, not that I’m not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?”_

_The other girl just smiled bashfully. “I know you’ve been recording all day and probably didn’t get the chance to eat... So I cooked a little something for you. I still have that apartment key you gave me a couple months ago and figured you wouldn’t mind if I put it to good use. I’m really happy for you and that you have this opportunity.”_

_Siyeon nearly cried at the gesture. It was so sweet of the younger girl... she didn’t even have the right words to thank her. Instead she walked over and pulled Yoohyeon in for a warm hug. “Yooh... I don’t even know what to say. Thank you so much. You have no idea how much this means to me.”_

_“You don’t have to thank me, I was happy to do it.” The girls settled down and Yoohyeon decided to keep the older girl company so she wouldn’t have to eat alone. When Siyeon looked across the table, she noticed Yoohyeon looked a little worse for wear._

_“Everything okay?”_

_Yoohyeon straightened up her posture and tried to look like her normal self. “Just a long day.”_

_“I thought you guys didn’t have a schedule today?”_

_“Minji and Bora did, but that’s not what I’m talking about. Handong came down with something bad and I was helping her out today. Yubin and Gahyeon were out doing something together too, so I was doing my best to take care of her by myself. But I had no idea what to really do. I tried making her soup, but she wasn’t able to keep it down. I tried giving her medication to lessen her symptoms but nothing was working. I was just running around doing nothing useful all day and I just felt really bad about it._

_When I got sick as a trainee, CEO Won just stuck me with some food and meds and I would be fine. He never had kids so he didn’t really know what to do either. Handong kept telling me I was doing everything right and that I didn’t have to stay for her. I’m pretty sure everything I did just made it worse.”_

_Siyeon put her now empty bowl off to the side. How did she not know Yoohyeon was such a good cook? “Sounds like you were doing everything right to me. At least, that’s what I would have done.” She reached across the table and gently took the younger girl’s hand. “You don’t give yourself enough credit. And I’m sure just you being there made Handong feel better. I know I would feel far less miserable if you were with me than if I was suffering alone.”_

_Yoohyeon just shrugged. She didn’t really seem convinced._

_“Sounds like you were at it all day, though. You must be tired.”_

_The troubled girl gave a tiny nod. “She called me at eight this morning and I was with her all day until just now.”_

_“...When you decided you’d make a whole five-course meal for me instead of rest,” Siyeon finished for her._

_Yoohyeon laughed and stood up. “I can sleep when I’m dead. I just came to make sure your recording went well and that you ate. You can’t have another full day of this on an empty stomach. I’m going to go back one last time to check on Handong. See if maybe she wants tea. I can’t really screw that up.”_

_Siyeon shook her head. “Yoohyeon, it’s midnight. You need to rest. You’ve been up and about all day trying to take care of her, and you’ve just spent the last three hours cooking for me. Please sleep.”_

_“But-“_

_The older girl cut her off mid-protest and shut her down. “You can take my bed tonight. We’ll leave your phone on and she can call you if she really needs you. But if you’re going to be running around taking care of everyone, you need rest.”_

_“Fine, if I agree to sleep here, then you keep the bed. I’m not going to steal your comfortable bed from you the day before you have to record all your backing vocals. That’s going to take forever.”_

_Siyeon agreed. It was the best she was going to get. Yoohyeon was keen to look out for others, so she never prioritized her own needs. Siyeon was just happy she even agreed to rest at all._

_They set up a little bed on Siyeon’s couch and Yoohyeon got settled in._

_At three in the morning, Siyeon groaned as her alarm went off. She loved the life of an idol, but she hated having to wake up at ungodly hours of the day every time there was a schedule to attend. She got ready in her bathroom and left to the living area to make sure Yoohyeon was still sleeping._

_Instead she found a note with Yoohyeon’s neat writing on it._

_“Hey, it’s been an hour and a half and I’m too worried about Handong to sleep. I’m just going to go over there and make sure everything is okay. Minji also asked me to come monitor something she was filming today so I’m going to go to her schedule with her. Thanks for offering to let me stay though. I hope the food from last night is good enough to get you through the day. Good luck, I know you’ll do great :)”_  
Love you,  
Yoohyeon 

_Siyeon smiled even though a little worm of concern sprouted in her stomach at Yoohyeon’s utter disregard for her own needs. She couldn’t help but think to herself, “Everyone’s been saying we’re the ones taking care of her, but maybe this whole time, it’s been the other way around.”_

Siyeon finished recounting the story to an unconscious Yoohyeon. It was always one of her favorites. She thought it really spoke to the type of person Yoohyeon truly was. So caring, kind, and genuine. People really only knew the goofy carefree side to her, but Siyeon knew there was so much more. 

The doctor had cleared two visitors to enter at once, so Handong had come in with Siyeon. Seeing Yoohyeon’s pale and lifeless body was extremely hard on both of them, but the doctor said if they talked to Yoohyeon it might help her. So they tried their best to remain positive as they told stories.

Handong slowly took hold of one of Yoohyeon’s cold hands. “She really did all that for me? I was so sick I barely even remember those couple of days. I know she was with me most of the time but that’s really it.”

Siyeon nodded sadly. “She was in with you everyday, all day, for four days in a row. It was when I was recording my solo track and she had no schedules. She spent the whole day looking after you, then came over to make sure I ate well. I don’t even know if she slept at all, even though she told me she did. By the end of that week she was so tired she could barely move.”

She looked directly at Yoohyeon’s face. The girl she had come to love. Now hanging on to life because of a drunk driver. It was all so unfair. Thinking about how Yoohyeon had made sure Siyeon was taking care of herself when she was recording her solo and constantly checking in on her when she was also taking care of Handong... Siyeon didn’t know what she would do without her. 

Tears welled up in her eyes. Why did the world always have to take the best people away? Siyeon thought of all the memories she’d taken for granted. Yoohyeon’s brilliance in the vocal booth. When they’d just improvise harmonies in the backing tracks of their songs. Every time Yoohyeon would smile at Siyeon secretly through the mirror during their dance practices. 

The hugs they shared, the laughs, everything. It tore at Siyeon to think about how Yoohyeon sacrificed herself to save Minji and Gahyeon. She didn’t think she would have been brave enough to jump in front of a speeding truck to save someone. Yoohyeon with her damned heart of gold...

She was brought out of her thoughts by Handong’s voice. Siyeon was sad to hear it shaking. Handong was always so stoic and put-together. Hearing how badly this was impacting her too made everything seem that much more bleak. 

“You’ve always been so strong, I’ll never understand. So selfless, caring... You guided me when I first came over from China and you were the best thing that could have happened to me. I’m not ready to lose you. Please- Please come back to me.”

Dong laid her head down on Yoohyeon’s bed and cried. Just hours ago, everyone was in Siyeon’s apartment celebrating the upcoming comeback and singing karaoke. Now one was barely hanging onto life, two were crumbling over the guilt, and the other four were just trying to hold it together. 

How did it all go so wrong?


	7. Chapter Seven

_Gahyeon was out walking. It was late at night and very cold, but she still found it to be relaxing. After a long day of practice with the rest of the members, she liked going on walks to clear her head. A lot of the local shopkeepers would be closing up right at this time and knew she’d be coming by, so sometimes they’d save something for her. Everybody liked her, there was just something about her that made people want to trust her and care for her._

_She was on her way back to the company building and had it in her sights, when she felt a rough hand nudge her into a nearby alley. Apparently people other than shopkeepers had noticed her habit of taking this walk. A wave of panic coursed through her. She turned to see who it was, and frowned when she saw a face she recognized. A face she never wanted to see again._

_The boy pushed her up against a wall. “Long time no see, Gahyeon.” He spat her name, disgusted. “You thought you could leave me? To become a kpop idol? You’re too ugly and untalented. Nobody would want you or support you.”_

_Gahyeon tried to squirm out of his grip and run but he was too strong._

_“I trusted you. I thought we had something. And you just left and turned your back on me.”_

_The younger girl didn’t say a word. He just shook his head._

_“Come back with me. My offer is one-time only. When you fail to become successful, don’t come crying to me. We can just leave now and go back to how things used to be. Before you decided you were better than me.”_

_Again, Gahyeon tried to push him off, but he wasn’t letting up._

_Inside the building, Yoohyeon was growing increasingly worried. Every night when Gahyeon went out, the members wished her a good night and went to sleep. But when a member was out late, Yoohyeon wouldn’t sleep until she came back._

_She had already lost people she cared about and wouldn’t be able to sleep comfortably until she knew everyone was safe in their beds. Gahyeon was usually only out for half an hour, forty minutes at the latest. So when the clock kept ticking and Gahyeon wasn’t back, Yoohyeon slipped on her jacket._

_She glanced over to make sure she hadn’t woken Bora up and quietly exited the dorm. She was hoping to stumble upon Gahyeon who was just making her way inside, but had no such luck. She ventured out towards some of the shops hoping maybe Gahyeon had stopped inside._

_Again, no such luck._

_When she turned a corner, she heard hushed voices and peeked into the alley to see what was going on. Immediately, rage boiled up inside her when she saw a boy dragging Gahyeon by the wrist in the opposite direction. She could see the younger girl was pulling with all she could and struggling, but he kept dragging her._

_Without even a second of hesitation, Yoohyeon ran over and shoved him as hard as she could. Her shoulder rammed into him with the full force of her weight. He stumbled backwards and released his grip on Gahyeon to steady himself. As soon as Gahyeon was free, Yoohyeon stepped protectively in front of her._

_She kept one arm on her youngest member to make sure she knew that Yoohyeon was there with her. She could feel the younger girl shaking._

_The boy was upset someone had intervened and rounded on Yoohyeon. “The hell do you think you’re doing?”_

_“I could ask you the same question.”_

_“She and I know each other. We’re friends.”_

_Yoohyeon scoffed. “Didn’t look very friendly when you were dragging her away by her wrist. Just get lost.”_

_“Get lost? I've always been good to her. She’s too unimportant for anyone to care about her. I’m the only person who has ever paid any attention to her. She’d be lucky to have me!”_

_Yoohyeon started taking a couple steps back, making sure to stay in front of Gahyeon the whole time. If he was going to try anything, he’d have to get through her first._

_“If that was true at all, then shouldn’t it mean something to you when she says she doesn’t want you?”_

_The boy’s eyes clouded in rage and he lunged, trying to regain a hold on Gahyeon. Yoohyeon immediately wound back and threw a punch with every ounce of strength she could muster. Her fist connected squarely with his jaw and he fell to the floor in shock and pain._

_By this time, Gahyeon was visibly trembling. He managed to stand up and spit before storming off._

_Yoohyeon gently wrapped an arm around Gahyeon and walked off in the opposite direction. “Let’s get you inside.” The younger girl just nodded, still shaking._

_When they got to the building, Yoohyeon brought her to the kitchen. She told her to sit tight and when she came back, she brought a blanket with her. Carefully, she wrapped it around Gahyeon’s shoulders and made sure she was warming up. After making her a cup of tea, she sat opposite her while Gahyeon played with the string of the tea bag._

_Yoohyeon kept her voice quiet. “Who was that?”_

_The younger girl just shrugged. “Some guy from school. I used to think we were friends, but he thought we were more.” She hesitated, but decided Yoohyeon could keep a secret._

_“He’s... part of the reason I became a trainee. Before I auditioned, he was starting to make me uncomfortable. He tried to manipulate me into doing things. I wanted to get away from him and I was alright at singing and dancing, so I figured it would be a good way. He- It was really bad. I tried to get help but my parents didn’t understand, and the counselors at school didn’t believe me. He was such an angel and I had no evidence he was dangerous... I was so scared.”_

_Yoohyeon knew what that was like. Wanting to be a trainee because of some other factor than music. For her, it was family._

_“It’s okay, Gahyeon. You don’t have to explain yourself to me, I understand. Just... promise you won’t go out by yourself for the next little while. I’ll go with you, I’m sure any of the members would. I just want you to be safe.”_

_Gahyeon just nodded. “Don’t think I’ll be walking at night again anytime soon. But if I do, I’ll ask you to come with me.”_

_After a second, Gahyeon looked up. “You really punched him? I didn’t just imagine that?”_

_Yoohyeon sighed. “He was reaching for you...”_

_“If he says anything, you could be kicked out!”_

_The older girl thought of what was waiting for her outside the company. Or more accurately, the lack thereof. No home, no family. But there was no doubt in her mind._

_“As long as you’re safe, I’ll figure it out. But I don’t get the impression he’ll be too eager to tell people he got his ass handed to him by a girl.”_

_“Yooh, I’m serious... What if he presses charges? The headline ‘Idol trainee assaults boy’ isn’t exactly flattering. The company would kick you without a second thought.”_

_Yoohyeon reached across the table and took her hand. “I’m serious, too. I wasn’t about to let him take you away. I’ll figure it out. As long as you’re safe, it doesn’t matter what happens to me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I let him leave with you.”_

_Gahyeon just looked down at her hands and her eyes started to water. Yoohyeon stood up and circled around to sit next to her, wrapping her arms around her. Gahyeon melted into the comforting hug. She hid her face in the crook of Yoohyeon’s neck and started to cry._

_The younger girl’s voice came out as a whisper. “Thank you... for coming to save me. I was so scared. I kept- I kept trying to pull away but he wouldn’t let me."_

_Yoohyeon gave her a comforting squeeze._

_“Anytime.”_

Bora felt a deep sense of pride hearing about how Yoohyeon had protected the younger girl. She always cared so much... Sometimes, too much. 

As Gahyeon retold the story, all the emotions rose up and her voice shook. Now that she knew about Yoohyeon’s parents, the whole “I’ll be okay if I get kicked out of the company” routine seemed even worse. She really had risked everything to keep her safe. 

Just like she had out in that intersection. She felt a surge of affection for Yoohyeon. Remembering how safe she felt when she saw the older girl arrive in the alley. Knowing that she would be okay as long as Yoohyeon was with her. That she wouldn’t let anything happen to her. The thought tore at her heart now. 

Bora could see how hard this was for the youngest member and dragged her chair over to the other side of the bed, so they could sit together. She grasped one of Yoohyeon’s hands, and used her other free hand to take one of Gahyeon’s.

“It’s not your fault, you know. I’m sure that if she was awake, she’d say the same. She wouldn’t want you to blame yourself. Don’t beat yourself up over this. She would have done it for any one of us, and you would have done it for her.”

“That’s just it... I don’t know if I could. I don’t know if I’d have the courage to put myself on the line like that. She didn’t even... She didn’t even think at all. She just ran to push us out of the way. And even before, she didn’t care about the consequences. She just punched him. To protect me.”

Bora pulled Gahyeon closer to her. “Yoohyeon... She doesn’t think when it comes to the people she cares about. If she ever thought with her brain instead of her heart, she wouldn’t be the same Yoohyeon we all know and love.”

The youngest member just continued to stare sadly at Yoohyeon’s pale face. Listening to the slow beating of her heart rate monitor.

Bora couldn’t help but do the same. She thought back to the day at Yubin’s apartment. When she had first found out about Yoohyeon’s parents, and how she had held the younger girl in bed. All she wanted to do was protect her and make her feel safe. As she stared at the lifeless body in front of her, she remembered how warm and reassuring it had felt to know Yoohyeon was protected and secure in her arms.

If Bora had any say in the matter, she’d crawl right into the hospital bed and do it again. Yoohyeon wouldn’t be able to feel the embrace, but it would help the older girl feel like she was doing something to help. Anything.

But there were so many machines and wires hooked up that Bora didn’t want to risk it. Instead she turned to Gahyeon and held her. Being able to make someone else feel safe didn’t have quite the same effect, but it did at least help a little.

“Yoohyeon’s a fighter. Don’t count her out just yet. If I know anything about her, it’s that she’s fighting like hell to come back to us.”

The words that were meant to be comforting only served to make Gahyeon cry even harder. Sobs wracked her body as she pressed deeper into Bora’s embrace. But even the familiar warmth was not enough to mend her broken heart.


	8. Chapter 8

Minji and Yubin had been in Yoohyeon’s room for ten minutes. Handong had gone to Yoohyeon’s apartment to make sure Pie was taken care of, and the rest of the members were sleeping in the waiting room. It was another couple hours before she was due for her next surgery, so they were trying to make the most of what time they had.

Or at least, that’s what Minji told herself when she first walked in.

Now... she wasn’t so sure. 

Seeing the state of Yoohyeon’s body, all the machines working hard to keep her alive... It all felt so hopeless. Minji felt there was nothing she could say to make things better. Nothing she could say that would ease the younger girl’s pain.

Yubin looked at her leader and misunderstood the silence. She thought Minji was waiting for her to speak first.

“Minji, I know you’re upset. You can say something first if you’d like.”

The older girl just shook her head and kept her eyes on the large cut that had formulated across Yoohyeon’s cheekbone. From when she had slammed into the road after being hit by a speeding car. 

Yubin spoke again. “The doctor said talking to her would help... Don’t you think it’s worth a try? The others did-“

“What can I say right now that’ll fix this? Or help her? God, Yubin. Look at her! You heard the doctor, she’s not going to make it... I did this to her. And nothing I do will fix it or bring her back. So just stop.”

Both of them froze, shocked by Minji’s outburst. Yubin’s words came out slowly and deliberately, her tone dangerously low.

“The doctor said she has a chance. However small, we should do our part to help her fight for it. And no offense, but now’s really not the time for your little pity party. Out of all of us, you are the last person who is allowed to give up on her. Don’t you dare even think about giving up on her for one second. Not after everything she just sacrificed for you. Nobody wants to hear about your guilt fest, least of all her. Here she is laying in a hospital bed barely breathing, in unimaginable amounts of pain, and she has to hear how bad you feel about it. Either be a supportive friend for her or get out. But just know if you leave out that door right now because you don’t believe in her, then I will not be allowing you back in. I’ll make sure the other members follow suit.”

Minji just stared at her. When it came to serious matters, Yubin never lost her cool. She was quiet, observant, and reserved. The leader had never had any of her members talk to her like that, and was shocked to hear it come from Yubin especially.

But she couldn’t deny that the younger girl had a point. She had successfully been put in her place. Now was not the time to sit there feeling bad for herself.

Yubin’s voice softened when she realized how much Minji was really struggling. She knew it wasn’t her intention to give up on Yoohyeon. Everyone’s emotions were running a little wild right now. 

“She’s strong. Stronger than any of us. She’s overcome adversity time and time again. If there’s anyone who can beat these odds, it’s Yoohyeon. You don’t have to talk to her if you’re not up to it. I can’t imagine what you must be feeling. But just... at least let her know you’re here and that you care. After everything she’s done for us, it’s the least we can do in return.”

Minji nodded slowly and gingerly laid a hand on Yoohyeon’s arm. When Yubin saw that the older girl had no intention of leaving, she settled back into her chair and cleared her throat.

_The members had just finished dance lessons and were dismissed to the cafeteria for a small lunch. Some of the members had decided to shower first and others chose to do extra vocal practice, so Yubin found herself sitting alone. There was a newer trainee sitting alone at an adjacent table too, but Yubin did not feel like talking to her._

_Earlier in the week, the trainee had been caught stealing extra portions of food and that didn’t go over well with any of the other girls. They were all allotted a specific amount of food by the company. She stole food that belonged to everyone else, after having her fair share._

_That meant whatever the younger trainee stole now couldn’t be eaten by anyone else, but also that the CEO was incredibly unhappy. As a result, he had cut down on the already meager portions for all the girls as punishment. One selfish act from the trainee to get more food had resulted in the rest of the girls going even hungrier. It was safe to say she was the company’s most hated girl at the moment._

_Yubin was brought out of her thoughts when she saw movement in her peripheral vision. She smiled and waved as Yoohyeon approached and sat across from her. Because they were seniors at the company, the seven members were given more control over their diet and portion sizes. It was still somewhat regulated by the CEO, but they hadn’t been nearly as affected by the girl’s selfish stunt as the other trainees had._

_Still, Yoohyeon looked at the hated trainee and frowned. “She sitting alone again?”_

_Yubin just nodded. “CEO also cut her usual portion in half as punishment. Things will hopefully be more normal in a couple days when this blows over.”_

_Yoohyeon saw the young trainee clutching her stomach in hunger, trying to avoid everyone’s hateful glares. She then looked down at her own full container of food and shook her head._

_Without warning, she stood up and walked over to the girl. Yubin watched curiously while all the other trainees began whispering._

_By now, the seven girls were well-known in the company and respected by the others. The younger trainee braced herself to be berated by her senior, but instead watched as Yoohyeon took a seat across from her. The whispering intensified._

_The older girl flashed a soft smile and slid her container of food across the table. “Here, I’m not that hungry today.”_

_The younger trainee profusely shook her head and pushed the food back. As much as she wanted it, she knew she didn’t deserve it and shouldn’t take it. The others all stared jealously. That trainee was a criminal in their eyes, so why was the older girl giving her food when the others felt they deserved it more?_

_Yoohyeon wouldn’t take no for an answer though. The poor girl couldn’t have been older than fourteen. She didn’t deserve to starve, no matter what she had done. “We finished our comeback preparation yesterday and the CEO gifted us with a big dinner. I really don’t need this. By the looks of it, you do.” She reached across the table and gently touched the scared girl’s arm. “Please, take it.”_

_Yubin frowned when she heard this. It was a lie. There had been no special dinner the night before._

_The younger girl wasn’t refusing as intensely as before but she still looked uncertain._

_“Hey, I know what it’s like to be so hungry that you’re willing to do anything. What you did may have been wrong, but you don’t deserve to starve for one mistake. For what it’s worth, I forgive you.” She looked around the room and raised her voice slightly. “And I’m sure the other girls will come to their senses too. Sometimes, forgiveness is the best possible gift you could ever give.”_

_Everyone who had been watching suddenly found their lunch tables extremely interesting. None of them were willing to meet their senior’s piercing gaze._

_“I don’t want you to dance all day on an empty stomach. It doesn’t feel good, trust me. Take the food. If you don’t, it’ll just go to waste. Both of us would feel better.”_

_The younger trainee finally relented and hungrily accepted the container. She meekly raised her eyes and quietly thanked Yoohyeon._

_She smiled softly at the trainee. “It’s no problem. Don’t let the other girls bother you. I can guarantee they’ve all thought about stealing a little extra before too. You were just the first one who had the guts.” Every other trainee again averted their eyes in shame._

_Yoohyeon just tapped the girl lightly on the arm as she stood to leave. “Just don’t do it again, okay?”_

_“I promise.”_

_The older girl just turned and walked back to Yubin, whose jaw was hanging open. She whispered, so no one else could overhear. “There was no comeback prep or fancy meal last night."_

_Yoohyeon just shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s okay, really. She needed it.” She looked over to the girl and saw she was wolfing down the meal with a small smile. Color was already returning to her cheeks as she finally got to eat something substantive. All she needed was a little kindness. Yoohyeon was positive she would never pull a stunt like that ever again. When Yooh had first been a new trainee, hungry and lonely, she wished somebody would have been there for her._

_Yubin just frowned. “You need it, too. What are you going to eat?”_

_“I’m really not that hungry.”_

_With that, the older girl stood up and left. Yubin felt a surge of admiration for her member, always so selfless. But she did worry that some day that would get her in trouble. She was proven right not so long after._

_That same night, the CEO called them in for a surprise dance check-up and the girls were worked to exhaustion for hours by the managers, trying to get the dance perfect. By the time the CEO’s observation had finished, Yoohyeon looked sick and exhausted._

_She briskly excused herself before the members could spot something was wrong, but Yubin followed her out and saw she was headed for the bathroom._

_As soon as she entered, she could hear the sound of Yoohyeon throwing up. She ran into the stall and quickly grabbed a hold of Yoohyeon’s hair, pulling it back. The younger girl then took a seat on the floor and rubbed soothing circles into Yoohyeon’s back, as she continued to throw up what little was in her stomach._

_Once the retching finally stopped, Yubin softly asked, “Are you okay?”_

_The older girl just laid her head in her hands. She looked terrible. Yubin sighed with worry._

_“You can’t skip meals, Yooh. If you had just eaten earlier, you wouldn’t feel sick.”_

_Yoohyeon took a deep breath. “I’d rather it be me than her.”_

_Yubin just shook her head. While Yoohyeon was taking care of everyone else, who was taking care of her? The younger girl resolved to be the one she could count on._

_Yoohyeon looked to her with wide eyes. “Please... Please don’t tell the others. I don’t want them to worry.”_

_By the sink, the younger trainee from lunch stood frozen. She had walked in to wash her hands and unintentionally overheard everything that was going on. Guilt gnawed at her. She was happy and full for the first time in a long while, but it was at the expense of the girl who had so kindly sacrificed a full meal for her. Now, the older girl was paying the price. The price that was not hers to pay._

_She turned to leave as quietly as she could. The young trainee had learned her lesson. With just one action, Yoohyeon had taught her so much more than just a lesson about stealing._

_Even though it was against the older girl’s wishes, she knew what she had to do. Yoohyeon would never ask for help and Yubin wouldn’t be able to handle everything on her own. She walked to the main practice room, where the rest of the members were either sprawled out on the floor from exhaustion, or sitting in the corner drinking water._

_She called out for Minji, knowing she was their leader, and the older girl joined her by the door._

_“You need to go to the bathroom.” Her voice was low. If Minji could handle it, the other girls didn’t have to know._

_“What? Why?” The older girl vaguely recognized the girl from the situation that had been going on inside the company. Word travelled quickly among the trainees. But she had no idea why the younger trainee was at the door right now._

_“Please... just go. It’s important.”_

_Minji just sighed and nodded. When the younger girl was sure she was walking towards the bathroom, she left in the direction of her own dorm. She had a lot to think about._

Minji’s voice rang out, much to Yubin’s surprise. “I remember that night. I walked in and... I saw you both sitting by the toilet. I didn’t even need to ask what had happened. I knew. The trainee with her guilty expression begging for my help... I just knew.”

The eldest didn’t even know when she had started crying but her entire face was drenched. 

Yubin nodded. “She-“

The conversation was abruptly cut off by a sudden loud beep. It repeated over and over again, and both of them simultaneously realized it was the heart monitor. The beeping was incredibly quick and erratic, and growing faster by the second. They knew it was a bad sign. 

Then before either of them could even register what was happening, the intense beeping changed to one steady beep. The heart rate line was no longer spiking up and down. It had flatlined.

Both girls were frozen in horror, knowing they needed to get someone or do something, but too shocked to move. It had all happened so fast.

Luckily, a team of doctors heard what was going on and ran in with a crash cart. Yubin watched, with her heart in her throat, as the doctors tried to defibrillate. It took a couple attempts, but finally the long shrill sound of the flatline returned to normal regular beats. 

Minji let out a breath she didn’t even know she had been holding. Her sad eyes watched as the doctors wheeled Yoohyeon out of the room and started running to the operating room, yelling orders at each other. It hurt her to no end, seeing the younger girl’s body jerk violently as the doctors sent shocks through it, trying to revive her. 

She stayed frozen like that for what felt like forever, until she was broken out of her trance by the feeling of Yubin’s hands squeezing her shoulders. 

“She’ll make it, okay? She will.” Yubin wasn’t quite sure if she was trying to convince her leader or herself. 

The words did nothing to reassure Minji. Not after she had just watched Yoohyeon’s heart stop beating.


	9. Chapter Nine

Minji and Yubin had re-joined the others in the waiting room after the initial shock of watching Yoohyeon flatline passed. The eldest kept her eyes on the floor, unable to move or say anything. 

The other four girls were worried as well. They had been in the waiting room when they saw a huge team of doctors rushing Yoohyeon to the operating room. None of them wanted to say it, but everyone was thinking it.

She wasn’t going to make it. 

Handong sat quietly, fidgeting with her clothes. When she looked up, all she saw were tears threatening to spill over and a dejected group of girls. They were alone in the waiting room, so she figured she could at least try to do something.

The silence was heavy and suffocating, and she didn’t want it anymore. If they just continued to sit there like that, the tension would weigh on them until they broke. 

“She learned Chinese.”

All of the girls’ heads snapped up, startled by the voice. It had been so quiet and tense, they weren’t expecting anyone to speak and scare them like that. 

But Bora nodded. “When we were in Minx, she was trying to learn Chinese but said it was too difficult. I guess after a while, she stopped trying. But I noticed over the past year, she managed to pick it up.”

Handong let the ghost of a smile cross her lips.

_Yoohyeon wandered through the dorms, bored. The three older members had gone to some kind of meeting with the CEO, and the younger girls had disappeared off to some café to take advantage of their day off._

_She knew Handong was around somewhere and was hoping maybe she’d want to hang out and stave off the loneliness. It had been a couple months since Handong had arrived at the company, but Yoohyeon already felt close with her. She also didn’t want Handong to feel alone either. It was hard enough trying to acclimate to being in a whole new country._

_Of course, there was a language barrier, but Dong’s Korean was improving every day. Sometimes, she did get frustrated with her lack of progress though._

_Yoohyeon turned the corner into Gahyeon and Handong’s room and found the older girl sitting on the bed, looking out the window. She knocked on the door frame so as not to startle her._

_Handong turned and much to the younger girl’s surprise, there were tears in her eyes. Yoohyeon immediately closed the door and rushed over, enveloping her in a warm hug._

_Worry coursed through her. Through the short time the girls had gotten to know Handong, they found she was usually stoic. It was hard to tell what she was thinking or feeling because she always hid her emotions so well. That’s why it came as an extra unwelcome surprise that she was openly miserable like this._

_Finally after what felt like forever, the older girl pulled away. Through sniffles, she asked, “What are you doing here? I thought you would have gone with Gahyeon and Dami or something.”_

_“They invited me out, but I don’t know... I kind of wanted to hang out with you. I didn’t want to leave you alone.” Yoohyeon grabbed hold of one of her hands. “What’s going on? Are you okay?”_

_Handong let out a heavy sigh. “Not really. My parents called-“_

_The younger girl’s eyes widened and her heart sank. “Oh no, is everything okay?”_

_Dong gave her a reassuring squeeze. “Everything’s fine. It wasn’t about anything bad, they were just checking in. But it just made me feel... homesick.”_

_She looked down bashfully as she said that last part, embarrassed that she was crying over a little bit of homesickness._

_Yoohyeon gently used her free hand to lift Handong’s chin so they could be eye-to-eye. “Hey, it’s okay to miss home. You don’t have to be ashamed or embarrassed by it. I know how hard it can be to leave everything behind. To know that my entire life depends on whether or not I can make it as an idol. But I don’t have any idea how difficult it must be for you to pack up and leave your home country. To come here uncertain about everything, not even knowing the language. It’s okay to be frustrated and sad.”_

_Handong just sat with that for a moment. Let it sink in. Of course, Yoohyeon was right. The younger girl scooted in closer and wrapped an arm around her._

_“I thought I knew all about loneliness, but even I cannot imagine how alone you must feel sometimes. Please know that my door is always open for you. If you need a friend. Anytime. If you’re sad about something and need to talk, you can always come find me. Even at four in the morning, I’ll always make time for you. You don’t have to go it alone. Not anymore.” Their eyes met and all Handong could see was deep sincerity and genuine care._

_“No matter what, I’ll always have your back. You’re not alone. I’m here for you.”_

_And suddenly, Dong felt all the emotions rising up all over again. She collapsed into Yoohyeon’s arms and cried. For the family she left behind. The comfort and familiarity she lost as soon as she took her first step on Korean soil. She cried because yes, she had been feeling isolated and scared. But also because now, she felt so much better knowing someone really cared about her._

_Yoohyeon just whispered soft words of comfort and deepened the embrace._

_They spent a good thirty minutes like that, just sitting there. When Handong finally managed to calm down, she pulled away. “It is hard, you know? You guys are amazing and it’s like a second family for me. I know we’ll grow close. But it is still hard. When we’re all gathered and all six of you are speaking in Korean, I can barely even follow along. Most times, I only really know half the conversation and just have to guess at the other half.”_

_Yoohyeon frowned. “I’m really sorry... I didn’t even think about that.”_

_“No, don’t apologize. It’s not your guys’ fault. Of course you all speak Korean. I’d never change that or take that away from you. It just gets difficult sometimes. I could be sitting in a room with all of you and still feel like I’m alone.”_

_The younger girl nodded. “But it’s only been two months and your Korean is already so good. You’ll be fluent in no time. And if you ever need help or tutoring or anything at all, I’m just one door down. All you have to do is ask.” She offered the older girl one of her signature smiles. It was so warm and infectious._

_Handong couldn’t help but smile in return. “You know, for being one of the younger ones, you’re pretty good at this.”_

_“At what?”_

_“I don’t know... Comforting me, making me feel better.” Handong glanced over and poked a little fun. “You’re pretty smart for your age. Even though you like to act like a dumbass.”_

_Yoohyeon frowned in mock hurt, pretending to feel insulted. “And what’s that supposed to mean? For my age? You’re barely a year older than me.”_

_“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Dong put on a fake tone of annoyance, but she felt a sense of endearment for the other girl. It was inexplicable. Some kind of feeling that made her want to protect her and never let her go._

_Her smile, her heart... Everything about her was so bright and pure. Handong never wanted to see anything make the younger girl lose that light in her eyes. That ridiculous undying optimism. That ever-present bounce in her step that never quite seemed to disappear, even after five straight hours of dance practice. That smile that was always so impossibly wide, as if there was nothing at all wrong with the world._

_Handong pulled her in for a hug. “Thanks. For talking to me and letting me know you’re here for me.”_

_Yoohyeon beamed. “Anytime. I’m glad you’re feeling a little bit better.”_

_Two weeks later, the girls were all wrapping up a long hard dance practice. Yoohyeon stayed behind and called for Handong to stay back too as the other girls all filed out._

_The older girl glanced at her curiously. “Do you need something?”_

_Yoohyeon pulled a box out of her pocket and handed it over. “I got you a little gift. It’s not all that expensive or anything... but I thought it’d be a nice little reminder that I’m here with you. Even when I’m not physically by your side, you can still be reminded that I’m out there somewhere rooting for you.”_

_Handong carefully opened the box and her breath completely left her body. She gasped as she saw a beautiful silver necklace. Right in the center, there were some simple Chinese symbols. It spelled “home.”_

_Yoohyeon cleared her throat, and in a somewhat sad attempt at Chinese, spoke to Handong. “I love you. Don’t forget that.”_

_The older girl looked up, surprised to hear her speaking Chinese. “You know the language?”_

_Yoohyeon shook her head. “Back when we were Minx, I tried learning and it was too hard. But after our talk in the dorms a couple weeks ago, I decided to try my hand again. I know we all speak Korean and it probably sucks to feel left out so I’ve been teaching myself for the past two weeks. I hope it didn’t sound too bad. I’m working on it, I swear. I’m really forcing myself to learn it, I promised myself I wouldn’t quit this time. You’re too important.”_

_Handong’s eyes filled with tears again, but this time, the happy kind. She threw her arms around Yoohyeon and they stood there, holding each other until eventually the younger girl pulled away._

_“Here, let me put the necklace on for you.” Handong obliged and she turned to see herself in the mirror. The necklace was seriously breathtaking. The symbols were simple, but beautiful, and it meant more to Handong than she could ever express._

_She turned and noticed how the jewelry caught the light at just the right angle. Dong felt suspicion creeping up. She turned to Yoohyeon with an eyebrow raised. “I thought you said it wasn’t expensive?”_

_Yoohyeon just shrugged and tried to brush it off. “It’s really no big deal.”_

_“This is the most beautiful necklace I have ever seen. There’s no way this was cheap. It must have cost a fortune!”_

_Handong continued to stare threateningly at her, until finally, the younger girl broke. “Okay, don’t freak out...”_

_When Dong heard the price she thought she would faint. “We’re trainees, Yooh! How did you afford this? We can’t- You can’t-“ She couldn’t even articulate the millions of things wrong with this._

_Yoohyeon looked down and started picking at a loose thread by her pocket. She couldn’t bring herself to meet Handong’s eyes._

_“Before I left to come here, my parents gave me some money. We didn’t have much at all, but it was a little goodbye gift to me. I planned to use it on food and clothes, but once I got here....” She trailed off. She wasn’t ready to tell anyone the truth about her parents. About her life outside of the company._

_“Once I got here... the CEO took care of that stuff for me. I guess he must have known about our financial situation and volunteered to help out. The money has just been sitting there and I didn’t really know what to spend it on. When I heard you were missing home, I figured I could bring a little home to you. That’s why I bought it and started learning the language.”_

_“Yoohyeon, this was the last of what your parents gave you... I- You shouldn’t have. Who knows when you’ll even see them again?”_

_She felt a sharp pang in her chest at the older girl’s words but tried not to let it show. Instead, she just shrugged again, trying to play it off. “It was worth it to see you smile. I could have spent it on something for myself but nothing would have made me as happy as seeing you smile. Making you feel like you belong here, and that you have a place here with me... Nothing I could have bought would have made me happier than that.”_

_The older girl got on her tip toes and gave Yoohyeon a light kiss on her forehead. “I love it, Yooh. I really do. Thank you so much.”_

Handong didn’t even realize it, but as she told the story, her hand had unconsciously begun tracing the symbols on her necklace. She always kept it on. Since the necklace was quite expensive and made from real silver, it never tarnished. Handong really never felt the need to take it off. It hurt like hell now to know that the person who had given it to her may not ever wake up again. 

The other members smiled softly at the story. Siyeon stared at the necklace. She had always known it was there, but never asked where it had come from. Now that she knew, she felt a pain in her heart. “She really learned Chinese for you?”

Handong just nodded sadly. Gahyeon walked over and sat next to her, pulling her in for a hug. “Makes sense, though. Now she’s our language master. I find it hard to believe she even struggled in the first place all those years back in Minx. Now she learns whole new languages faster than I can eat a meal.”

Dong just let out a soft laugh. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. She’s a bit of a language machine now, huh?”

Much to everyone’s surprise, Minji’s eyes finally lifted off the floor. From the one spot she had been staring at ever since Yoohyeon was rushed into emergency surgery. “Learning a whole new language just to make you feel more at home... Sacrificing the last bit of money ever given to her by her parents to make you happy... It’s something she would do.”

The members all just nodded. It really was something she would do.

They all lapsed into another round of silence. But this time. it was a comfortable one. It wasn’t thick or suffocating like before. They all had lingering smiles thinking about all that Yoohyeon had done to make Handong feel welcome. 

Hours later, the silence was broken by a doctor, who announced that Yoohyeon had made it through the surgery.


	10. Chapter Ten

It had been two weeks. The routine was always the same. Yoohyeon was taken in for surgery, barely made it through, then rested while the girls all visited. The cycle rinsed and repeated as the days passed.

Finally, the lead doctor said her surgeries were finished and that it was now just up to Yoohyeon’s body to wake up and recover. There was nothing more they could do except keep her comfortable until then. 

All six of the girls had gathered in the hospital room. It was cramped and much to the doctor’s dismay, but they refused to be kept away any longer. 

The surgeries were finally over, and they didn’t think it was even possible, but Yoohyeon actually looked worse than when she started. Her face was a ghostly white, with roughly-stitched cuts going down the length of her cheek and jawline. There was a tube down her throat which was helping her breathe. 

The rest of her body was covered by a gown and some blankets, but the members knew what was underneath. A massive cast on her femur, tape around her ribs, large gashes littered on her arms, back, legs... It was horrible. 

Handong hated it. Everything. It all made Yoohyeon look so lifeless. Like she was just waiting for death to come and claim her.

The girls sat in a circle around Yoohyeon’s bedside, and Bora took one of the younger girl’s limp hands. They sat there in silence. What was there to say?

Then much to the surprise of the other girls, Bora cleared her throat.

“I remember how afraid I used to get at night. We were just assigned to be roommates and barely knew each other, but somehow you knew what I needed. If I would get nightmares, you would hold me. You’d let me climb into the bunk with you, and you’d whisper words of reassurance to me until I fell back asleep. You never once complained about being woken up all the time. Sometimes, when the other members would ask, you’d tease me for being loud. But you never told anyone what really happened.

When I cried because I missed my family, or because training was so difficult, you’d tell me it was okay. That no matter how hard things got, you’d always be there for me. By my side through everything. I thought you were just saying that to make me feel better. But you really were right. Every great memory I cherish... you’re in them all. Smiling. Laughing... Singing together, dancing...”

The girls all silently nodded along. They knew what Bora was feeling because they all felt the same.

“Not all nights were nightmares and sadness, though. We used to have dance parties at four in the morning when we couldn’t sleep. Other times, we’d pull all-nighters telling each other stupid stories to try and make the other person laugh. 

And every time I went out at night, you waited for me. I didn’t know why you didn’t just sleep, but I thought it was really sweet. When I’d come back inside the room, you would pretend like you were asleep. But by that time, we’d been roommates enough for me to know when you were really sleeping and when you were faking.

I never asked you why you did it. I mean, deep down I knew it was because you cared. You cared so much. And you worried something would happen to me, so you’d wait. And when I felt down or alone, you always told me we’d go through life together. That I’d never have to feel lonely because I would always have you. You told me that even after our days as idols were over, you’d never leave me. We would grow old and raise loud kids who ended up becoming best friends. That’s what you told me.

You and me... we grew up together. We were just kids, and you told me you’d be here forever. That you would support me so much that I’d get sick of you.”

It hurt the members to hear this. They hadn’t been roommates with Yoohyeon, but they all had similar experiences. She had slowly worked her way into all of their hearts. Until just the thought of losing her was enough to suffocate them.

Bora stood up and her voice grew louder. “You promised you’d always be by my side. You promised. But you lied! We were supposed to go through life together. You and me, remember? Isn’t that what you said? That you’d be here forever? Look at you!”

The girls turned away. Watching Bora melt down was a hard sight to see. The fun-loving troublemaker, never one to take anything too seriously. Standing there yelling at an unconscious girl. They couldn’t bring themselves to watch.

The older girl kicked the side of Yoohyeon’s hospital bed. “You told me you loved me and that you cared about me. If that’s true, then you’d come back. Right now. Come back to me! Please. If you ever cared about me at all, then open your eyes.” 

Siyeon got up and ran out of the room. She couldn’t sit there and listen to Bora’s desperate pleas. To see her friend reduced to begging... It broke her heart. Yubin was right behind her. None of this was easy. On any of them.

Bora continued to pound on Yoohyeon’s bed as she desperately begged the younger girl to wake up. Handong tried to pull her back.

“No! Don’t touch me.” She threw Handong’s arm off of her. “I’m not stopping until she wakes up.” Bora turned back to the girl and stared intently at her pale complexion.

“You hear that, Yoohyeon? I’m not going to calm down until you open your damn eyes. If you ever loved me, you’d do it. You would wake up right now. All you’ve ever wanted was to make us happy. Nothing would make me happier than you coming back. So do it! Open your eyes. Just do something. Please! Anything...”

Yoohyeon didn’t move. Aside from the rise and fall of her chest, and the tube in her mouth, there was no movement from the younger girl.

Bora continued to glare sadly at her. As if somehow Yoohyeon would feel the disapproval and wake up just to please her. 

No such luck.

“Please... I just want you back. I can’t do any of this without you. I just want you to come back. Fight for us. For me... Please.”

When Yoohyeon remained still as ever, Bora finally collapsed into her chair and cried. It was an ugly, heart-wrenching sound. Her sobs were filled entirely with pain. And none of the members could bring themselves to comfort her. 

None of them knew how.


	11. Chapter Eleven

Another week had gone by. With little to no change. The doctors had managed to remove the tube from Yoohyeon’s throat, claiming her body was strong enough to breathe on its own.

But the members had a hard time believing it. If she was strong enough to breathe on her own, why couldn’t she just wake up then? How hard could it really be? Why did she still look just as lifeless as she had three weeks ago?

Since Bora’s meltdown, she had been choosing to stay in the waiting room instead. They had all basically been living in the hospital since the night of the car accident, and the thick tension was suffocating her. It was driving her crazy.

She would see patients recover and end up perfectly fine. And as horrible as it was, it made her bitter. She couldn’t help but wonder why the world didn’t just let Yoohyeon wake up. She sat there in the waiting room, watching people make miraculous recoveries and walk out the door. All while her best friend was laid up in her hospital bed, not getting better.

Family would break down into tears when their injured loved ones woke up, and they’d all hug. Bora would just scoff at the sight. She didn’t care that it made her evil. She knew it made her a horrible person, but she wished that was Yoohyeon waking up instead. That the people hugging were the seven members, happily crying because Yoohyeon had been the one to make the miraculous recovery this time.

Seeing the girl she had come to love so much struggling to breathe, having to stare at her pained and cut-up face all day... It was too hard. Bora couldn’t find it in herself to keep staying in that damn room. She wondered how the other girls hadn’t cracked yet. 

One of the members always stayed in the waiting room with her to make sure she wasn’t alone. They took turns. And whichever member was out with Bora would also leave with her to Yoohyeon’s apartment periodically to take care of Pie.

At least when she was there, helping care for Yoohyeon’s puppy, Bora felt like she was doing something to help. 

Today, it was Siyeon who left with her to help take care of the dog. 

Handong, Yubin, and Gahyeon all left to grab a bite to eat from the hospital cafeteria, which meant Minji was alone with the younger girl.

She hated it. She hated being alone with her. It reminded her of everything that was wrong with the world. Every time she tried to remember what it looked like when Yoohyeon smiled, the sound of her laugh, or even the way her forehead wrinkled up when she was concentrating on something... Minji instead saw the memory of Yoohyeon standing over her, just after pushing her out of harm’s way, and watched her get hit by that car. Over and over again.

Her mind wouldn’t allow her to forget. That scene replayed in her head constantly, every hour of everyday. She couldn’t escape it. She heard the sound of her own bloodcurdling scream echoing in her ears as she realized too late what Yoohyeon had done. She saw the look of worry on the younger girl’s face in that one second between her pushing them out of the way and being hit. Hoping she had been fast enough to keep her two friends safe. Not quite comprehending the fact that it meant she would be getting hit instead. 

Every time Minji closed her eyes, she was back out in that intersection. Every time she tried to sleep, she heard her own screams echoing through her head as she saw Yoohyeon’s body laying unmoving on the street. 

It was torture. Minji was sure it was some form of hell. Some form of punishment for not doing a better job of protecting the younger girl. 

The leader laughed humorlessly. The first time she ever really felt close with Yooh was that night when the younger girl had been trapped in a nightmare of Minji getting hurt. And now here Minji was, trapped in her own hellish nightmare after Yoohyeon had gotten hurt saving her life. All while their group sang songs about being trapped in nightmares. The irony of the entire situation wasn’t lost on her. The world worked in funny ways.

She slowly scooted her chair closer to the bed and kept her voice soft.

“I’m sorry. I know you probably aren’t even hearing me right now, but I’m so sorry. I’m supposed to take care of all of you. And I failed. You’re here feeling pain I couldn’t even begin to imagine, fighting for your life, because of me. You are paying a price meant for me. I’m sorry.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. 

“That night in the practice room... I told you not to worry. I told you nothing bad would happen to us. And I promised all of us would be safe. I promised to keep you safe. And I let you down. You were so afraid of losing me then. But I never once thought it would be me losing you. 

I’ve failed you. In every sense, I have failed. I promised to protect you from everything bad. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep that promise. Everything you’re going through right now... It’s supposed to be me. I don’t know how I let this happen. It should be me on that bed. I should be the one suffering in pain. Fighting for my life. Not you.”

She stopped to hear the steady beating of the heart monitor. Sometimes it drove her insane, and other times it brought her comfort. To know Yoohyeon was still there. She used her hand to wipe the tears off her face.

“I hope you can hear me right now. Really, I hope you’re listening to what I’m about to say.” She took a deep breath and mustered up every ounce of courage in her body.

“I can’t even begin to imagine what kind of pain you are in right now. I wish I could take it all away. You don’t deserve this. You are the last person on this planet who deserves to be in this much pain. I wish I could fight it with you or better yet, for you. I wish I could help give you strength. I would trade places with you in a heartbeat if I could. But I can’t do any of those things.

And I know you must be exhausted. You must be so tired. Fighting so hard to come back to us. So if you can hear me, I’m telling you that it’s okay for you to go. You can.... You can go. It’s okay if you want to stop fighting. You’ve been fighting so hard for so long. Since the moment you pushed me out of the way and got hit instead. And I guess, even before then.

Please don’t feel like you need to come back for us. If it’s too much for you, just let go. I don’t want you to be in pain anymore. You deserve to rest peacefully. I know we told you we wouldn’t be able to live without you, but we’ll find a way. I’ll make the life you saved worth it. I’ll make you proud. And I know you’ll be watching over us. I’ll help the girls heal. Don’t worry about any of that. All you ever do is put our needs first, but this time, just this once, I need you to think about yourself. 

You shouldn’t suffer anymore. If you can hear me and if it’s what you want, you can go. I’ll be okay... I love you and I always will. No matter what happens, I need you to know that.”

The thought of Yoohyeon leaving her forever tore her heart in two, but to ask the younger girl to suffer in this pain just for her would be selfish. 

Her eyes watered again. It felt like she couldn’t even go ten minutes nowadays without crying. 

“If there’s one thing I have learned from you, it is selflessness. I always used to hate how you prioritized everyone before yourself. I wished you’d think about yourself a little bit more and take care of your own needs. But now I understand. I understand how selfish it is of me to ask you to keep fighting just so I can be happy. I didn’t realize what real selflessness meant until this moment. But now I know. The most selfless thing I can do is let you go. So I’m doing it... I’m letting you go.”

And for a second, Minji really thought Yoohyeon could hear and understand her. Because the beeping on Yoohyeon’s heart monitor gradually began to slow. The older girl heard it and it broke her heart. But she knew it was the best thing. Yoohyeon deserved peace.

“No one else is here... It’s okay, Yooh, take all the time you need.” 

Minji squeezed Yoohyeon’s hand. She feared it would be the last time. Her voice caught in her throat and it came out as a strained whisper.

“I really am sorry. You didn’t deserve this. You should never have been in this mess. It should have been me. It should be me. I don’t know why you had to go and play hero. I hate that you did it. I hate how I couldn’t protect you. How I didn’t try harder to save you. But if it’s your time, I understand. I love you. Always and forever.”

Her heart rate continued to decrease slowly. The older girl watched sadly as the number dropped, one by one. 

Then out of nowhere, her heart rate spiked up. And Minji felt something squeeze her hand. It was so slight that she thought she imagined it. She froze completely, wondering if she’d feel it again. To confirm whether or not it was real. Then she heard a whisper. 

“I’m never leaving you.”

Minji’s eyes widened and it felt like the world had completely stopped spinning. It was so quiet that she could barely hear it. But it was there. Yoohyeon slowly opened her eyes and gave the older girl’s hand another squeeze, this time slightly stronger. Minji knew she wasn’t imagining it anymore. 

The leader looked into the younger girl’s eyes and she couldn’t even describe it. The feeling of finally being able to remember what Yoohyeon’s face looked like when there was life in it. Remembering the warmth and love in the younger girl’s gaze. In that moment, everything else melted away. 

Even in that cold hospital bed with all the machines hooked up to her, Yoohyeon’s smile held the warmth of a thousand suns. 

Tears fell freely from Minji’s eyes. For the first time since that fateful night, she cried tears of joy. In the younger girl’s eyes, she could see unbearable pain. But she could also see the signature loving and concerned gaze that the she always wore. The same one she had worn when she first stepped foot into the conference room at the company and been introduced to her new group mates. The same one she had worn when she’d pushed Minji and Gahyeon out of the car’s way. 

Yoohyeon’s smile was weak, but still sincere as ever.

“If it meant saving you, I’d do it all again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End :) 
> 
> The reason it took so long for me to post this chapter was because I was deciding if I wanted to end it here or not. Originally, I'd always planned to end it in eleven chapters, but I was debating with myself about whether or not I should extend it. After much contemplation, I decided that this would be it. I want the rest to be up to readers' imagination. I'm grateful to everyone who read and reviewed the story. For my first fic, it really means the world. I'm working on a new apocalypse AU that's almost done, and I'll be posting it once I finish the last few chapters. See you all soon :) Make sure to keep voting for Dreamcatcher! It's what our girls deserve.


End file.
